One Mammoth Task

Are We Really Bringing Back Woolly Mammoths? Why? 

3 to 4 min read

Buckle up, science nerds! I want to take you into a crazy world with resurrected woolly mammoths!! Forget how Richard Attenbourough genetically tweeked those velociraptors; this is a real life prehistoric furry elephant! Today, our actual boffins (that's British for scientists) are trying to un-extinct them. Mind you, do bare in mind, this isn't Hollywood with instant results. 

Companies such as Colossal Biosciences have a fancy tool called CRISPR (think 'crisper,' not 'cheese and onion') that they use to edit the DNA of Asian elephants, the closest living relatives to the mammoths. Don't you think it's reminiscent of Jurasic park scientists combining frog and dinosaur DNA? 

It sounds simple, right? Wrong. Imagine piecing together a recipe from an old vellum manuscript, buried for 2500 years in a giant ice cube. A mammoth task and a potential recipe for disaster! Scientists are always so meticulous in their work and the same applies here with ancient mammoth DNA preserved in the permafrost. 

After CRISPR edits the elephant DNA, introducing all those mammoth goodies, and we get real mammoth hybrids, will we begin skeining off mammoth wool? I could crochet myself a woolly mammoth hat! Would we farm them and start eating them once more? Would you buy a Sainsbury's finest mammoth steak or a Tesco mammoth belly draft? Their tusks would really get the ivory poacher worked up. Would you wear a woolly mammoth jumper? 

More Mammoth Madness... 

We know they plan to use Asian elephants to create these mammoth-elephant hybrids. Now, with ethical obstacles erected by those moralists, who no doubt, struggle to gain the elephants consent is irksome. Ethically, this is more confusing than Boris Johnsons family reunion photo with all the illegitimates turning up. Is it right to ask an elephant to be a surrogate for something it's never even met?

Poll

Should We Make Hybrid Woolly Mammoths?

A) Duh, yeah! It's a friggin Woolly Mammoth! 

B) Sounds like a potential recipe for disaster! 

C) I need more info!

But What is the Point?

For the sake of argument, let's just ask, if science pulls this off and we have our woolly mammoth stomping around, what next? Some individuals might say they could be good for the environment by keeping the tundra healthy. Though all that methane rich mammoth shit might suggest otherwise. Maybe, somehow, shoving an extinct species back into a complex ecosystem could be like someone dragging a tiger into their schools 'bring a pet' day. The unintended consequences could be unknown to us. 

Will the revival of the mammoth be a scientific marvel or the start of something foreboding? Could you imagine if we started a trend in resurrecting historical characters? Personally, I'm fascinated by the the hat. What are your thoughts about de-extinction? Can you think of any benefits besides the environment?

One thing's for certain, it is a story that'll keep me interested. I hope the first one isn't just an elephant using timoteí. Stay tuned, folks, because this story is far from over. 

Danke schön!