Disgraced Celebrity Island

Casted Away: Disgraced Celebrity Victim Special

5 min read

What Can You Do These Days? 

We should start with dumping Gary Glitter, Prince Andrew, and Huw Edwards in the Serengeti for a fortnight. A gamification of the telly fiends! Remember that 80s Arnold film, the Running Man? Maybe, death tournaments're a bit too hopeful, however, I'm sure some lowly broadcasting company would hire that bloke with the floaty voice from gogglebox:

'Meanwhile near the sand dunes, Gary and Huw are exchanging photographs'

Thanks to Philip Schofield, we now have a way of up-cycling our disgraced VIPs and in just fourteen days! If they made it a month and lobbed in a few trials we could save a few prison spaces! Not only was this Jesus of a broadcaster resurrected from the bus tyre marks of ITV tyranny, he has shown us the way, right? Watch the video:

Issues With The Guy

Schofield was the messiah of mundane breakfast TV and he enjoyed shaming lovely guests live on air. One was Stacey Solomon, and at the time her social media post showed her smoking a cigarette while pregnant. It needn't have been an ambush or a national concern but that guy, and Holly the Dolly made it so! It's all on the tube for you, do a search. 

I was horrible watching him overly criticise Kim Woodburn! He's pissed off many others including Ruth Langsford, Eammon Holmes, Jennifer Aniston, David Cameron and even dance and pop groups like Diversity and The Spice Girls. He said nothing of these people in his island appeal, maybe they were in on the plot to take him down? Grrrr. 

Yeah, fair play, they do say all-sorts about Schofield. The alleged grooming, the age of the boy when they first met. Yes, he lied to his family to cover up the affair, but he did emphasise how the relationship with the youth was legal! Honestly, I don't know all the facts from the fiction, still — I don't see a person I'd like to be around!

Going fifty shades of grey with a teeny bopper who wasn't even fifteen when the book came out, was, as he said, 'legal but unwise'. I mean, relatively, for anyone in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, 16 to 18 is a tad young. They're hopeless at things and still finding their way, maturing, but retaining that residual childhood stupidity. We know Schofield's 'young partner' disappeared from TV—was he as unhappy as Our Kid Phil to lose his career? Philip Schofield has caused a lot of pain to others just to fuel his ego. We've all watched his reign of moral condemnation plunging onto his TV guests, guests who did nothing compared to him! 

The Future for Philip Schofield 

Will the media now extend Prince Andrew it's vampiric hand? Is he going for a jungle redemption now? Another Royal Knockout or a stint at Strictly? It’s not the conspiracies surrounding scandal, nor the bollocks he might have spouted out that's flicked my lefty, no! Firstly, it's the denial of being wrong! Secondly, comes that judgement he has dealt out year after year. Finally, it's the narcissistic streak he has—it will burn your hand like a hot coal, and anyone who you choose to throw it at! 

That fake-arse drama on the island has proven this! Yes! No one's perfect and we can all be cranky, but sometimes, you know? You just need a bit of Buddha or something? Advaita Vedanta, fucking mindfullness! Twat. 

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